Sunday, November 9, 2008

on being gay & Christian.

truthfully, this dilemma is not something i face, though i would say i understand the issue to a degree in that i have to watch people very close to me battle with what they should do when they feel that they are both gay and Christian. (i preface this blog with that to stress the fact that i am not trying to say that i fully understand the issue, because i really don't, but that i would like to stress some thoughts i have based on my interaction with Christians in the LGBTQQ community.)

right now i have a very close friend who is trying to figure out how to feel about themselves because this person is Christian yet has recently come to terms with their homosexuality. we've talked a good bit lately and it's gotten me thinking a lot on the topic.

some gay Christians i've known have struggled at the outset of dealing with their sexuality due to something profoundly detrimental to them -- the thought that they cannot be both things, because the faith community they've always associated with has told them (either explicitly or subliminally) that they cannot be gay and Christian simultaneously.

what i believe Christians who are not all inclusive may not realize is that when this attitude is fed to people who battle over their sexuality, it leads them to have identity issues. i imagine some gay Christians feel like they have to reevaluate not only who they are as a person, but who they can be in Christ. this issue can't be written off as not a big deal. a person can't say, "oh well the bible says this is wrong so they just need to stop feeling the way they feel." to say this about a person is ridiculously insensitive, and certainly isn't "loving others," which is what the bible explicitly asks of people who follow Christ.

my problem is this -- if someone wants to take the bible literally, they can take the bible literally. i am not going to try to tell anyone their faith is "wrong" because of that (though i will disagree with the lens through which they view scripture). but, if a person is going to be a bible literalist, be a bible literalist.

think about matthew 22 when it reads, "'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?' Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.'" [emphasis mine.]

if someone insists on literalism, shouldn't they take that literally? ALL the law and prophets hang on these two commandments -- to love God and to love people. if a person believes that all the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments, then when it comes down to a battle between whether the law was meant to be used to condemn or love, the answer would be love. when it comes down to the lens we view scripture with, it should be a lens focused around loving God and loving people. when it comes down to how we (as a Christian community) should react to homosexuality, we have to base our reaction in love. to do anything else would seem to go against what the Christian community has so plainly and directly been asked to do -- base all of our laws, prophets (which i read to believe our judgments and our conclusions and our understanding of how to interact as a faith community with our world) on the ideal that we should love God and love people.

what i think some people do not understand about their negative attitude towards homosexuality is that if you push the thought on someone that they can either be gay or Christian, not both things simultaneously, what happens when they cannot shake their homosexual desires? what happens if they decide that, because of consistently being told they are "wrong" and "sinful creatures," they leave their Christian communities all together and have deep, spiritual issues? the Christian community, i think, often does this to homosexuals and leaves them feeling alone, which is a state of being that the Body of Christ is supposed to be ending in the world, not creating. how can we say that we are "sticking up for righteousness" and "just trying to uphold morality" when the end result is that people may leave the very community we strive to create? there's nothing righteous and moral about pushing people away.

i won't fight someone on how they interpret scripture, because a ridiculous amount of people (if they heard all of my religious views) probably think i am a heretic for my interpretations, but it shames me to think that as a Christian community, we fail so hardcore at doing what jesus refers to as the two most important lessons we should learn from everything ever taught in the biblical gospel narratives. let me also add that i am writing this after reading the bible through a "literalist" lens, which is something i rarely do, so i am even trying to find some common ground between my usual way to interpret scripture and a form of interpretation that i don't often practice.

i also write this, as a heterosexual, because i think people often hear members of the LGBTQQ community say these things, and the overwhelming thought is, "of course they believe a, b, and c.... they're trying to justify their actions." i want to say these things as a heterosexual to show that it is not always a person trying to justify their own lifestyle, because being gay and Christian isn't something i've had to deal with, yet i still hold many of the same beliefs in regard to it as those who are gay.

you're welcome to have your own interpretations of things, but i am able to have mine too. i write this not to force this idea on anyone, but simply because i am having a disconnect in understanding how some "Christian" ideals have become "Christian," because of the points i see being made scripturally.

ps -- this blog was almost solely written to try to encourage that close friend of mine who is struggling with their identity in Christ. to them, i hope this helps you in your pursuit of self.

8 comments:

Matt Algren said...

First of all, thank you so much for being open to a different interpretation long enough to understand the issue, and thank you for being there for your friend. You're right that there are many in the Christian community and in the gay community who think that you have to pick one and turn your back on the other, and nothing could be further from the truth.

A few resources for your friend. (They're also a good source of information for everybody else)

Rev. Dr. Mel White's "What the Bible Says - And Doesn't Say About Homosexuality" is a good place to start when looking at the five or six "clobber passages" and how they really don't speak to homosexuality at all. whosoever.org is another good resource.

I'd also strongly suggest the documentary "For The Bible Tells Me So", released on DVD last year. It looks at five families and the struggle to reconcile the Bible with being gay. It's available from Netflix and Blockbuster for rent and Amazon.com for sale. Can't recommend this one strongly enough.

Warn your friend to stay away from Exodus International and other so-called Ex-Gay groups. They prey on people who are grasping for a way out and do quite a bit of damage in the process.

Finally, a message for your friend: Yes, you can be a gay Christian. There are many of us, and the number grows every day. God does love you exactly the way you are; He made you like this! If you're anything like many of the gay Christians I've talked to, you've fought yourself all your life because your culture and your church told you that you're bad, broken, or both. GOD NEVER SAID THOSE THINGS! Jesus once said that the truth will set you free, and He was right.

God bless.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for getting it! I've called on literalists to be just that, who they claim they are, but at some point, they cut themselves a break. I just read another example of that today: literalists become progressives when they read the part of the Bible that says they must sell ALL that they have to follow Christ. LOL, I guess they aren't as literal as they claim they are.

But yes, it is possible to be lgbt and christian, although a lot of Christ's followers are making it difficult!

maleries husband said...

Great post, Erin. I would comment that yes, you can be gay and Christian, because Christians are sinners. Having homosexual thoughts is no worse than a horny guy lusting after some hot girl on the sidewalk. But both are still... a sin. A sin that Jesus died for. If we're going the literal route, these sexual sins are clearly addressed in the many scriptures regarding this issue. The warning we have is really wrapped up in Romans 1, where many of us will pursue the passions of our flesh, whether it's homosexuality or covetousness or gossip or hatred, but all remain what they are: sins. We are called to repent and believe in Jesus, because he went to the cross to free us of all of this junk we struggle with. All of us far very very short, no matter what side of the sexual sin world we fall on. Peace.

maleries husband said...

And Matt, sorry bro. God actually did call us those things, because the Scriptures are His words. And we are told all throughout the Bible that we are some jacked up folks. Don't listen to what religious people say because their words are often backed with hatred. Just read the Bible. These issues are clear. Not metaphors.

Matt Algren said...

Maleries husband, obviously I'm not saying that anybody's perfect. But my being gay and/or being in a relationship doesn't make me bad or broken any more than your relationship with your wife makes you bad. Gay folk have been taught from the cradle that there's something extra-special wrong with them, and my point is that that is simply not true. Homosexuality is not a sin. I want the E's friend to read that again and truly internalize it: Homosexuality is NOT a sin. Romans 1, by the way, is a reference to sex with male prostitutes at the pagan temples in Rome. Paul is talking about idolotry, not standard issue sex. Either way, he soundly eviscerates his own argument in chapter two. People often ignore that inconvenient chapter.

Anonymous said...

hmmm.

still processing this one.

Michael said...

Wow..

Jimmy said...

Hey, thanks for writing that, and I commend you for keeping your eye on the big picture.

It's already been advised here, but I must agree: keep your friend AWAY from ex-gay ministries like Exodus International! I have friends who have been emotionally and spiritually damaged by the long-term because of these "ministries."

Finally, I encourage you (and your friend...and everybody else) to visit my blog, which deals exclusively with this issue. Please read and comment!

http://3crossroadsblog.blogspot.com