myself.

i'm having a really hard time with myself right now and i think i just need everyone to be patient with me or something.
i'm a mixture of an eating disorder, anxiety, depression, and much more.
i just feel ugly and disgusting.
if i'm distant, it isn't you, it's absolutely me. i'm in a state of trying to work my way out of hating myself and it isn't easy.
i'm very hurt, by everything. if you're reading this and think you had something to do with it, you probably didn't. i just hate myself. it's a me to me thing.
i'm not going to take very well to compliments, or possibly even to some help right now. it isn't that i'm unappreciative, i just don't think i'll believe it right now.
i really just don't believe in myself and i need to try to figure out what's wrong with me.
i'm sorry to anyone who looks up to me. i always want to be a person of strength, but rarely am. i feel like a let down, but there comes a point where i just have to try to let myself hurt.
i'm only making this public because i swore to myself i would be transparent with how i feel, starting earlier this year, so i am only trying to keep that promise to myself.
i'm seeing a therapist and will try to work this out.
i guess i am writing this so that maybe people won't wonder what's wrong with me, or think i'm weird or rude for how i may react to you. i'm just hurt, and i can't help it.